Have you ever struggled to choose between two good options? Most of us have. I remember learning the idea of a cost/benefit analysis in a college microeconomics class—lay out the pros and cons, then choose the option with the most benefits or the least costs. It sounds simple. But real life rarely is.
The problem? We’re rarely comparing apples to apples.
The Hidden Layers of Every Decision
In leadership (and in life), the cost isn’t always financial. Time, opportunity, emotional well-being, and even spiritual alignment all come into play.
Opportunity cost is one of the most overlooked factors. If I train for a marathon, I’m saying no to time with my family. That trade-off isn’t captured in a spreadsheet, but it shapes my life deeply.
Implicit costs—emotional, physical, relational, environmental—often remain invisible until it’s too late. In the 1970s, very few considered the long-term environmental cost of increased CO2 levels. Today, we feel the result.
And the same complexity applies to benefits. You might choose a college major based on job prospects, only to find a decade later that the emotional toll—or the evolving job market—overshadows the initial payoff.
The Bias Trap
Even with the best intentions, our decisions are filtered through bias. We tend to frame the “costs” and “benefits” in ways that affirm what we already want. I’ve watched many leaders walk through cost/benefit analysis exercises only to realize—afterward—that they’d already made up their minds.
This is why self-awareness is essential. Without it, we’re not evaluating; we’re just justifying.
Ask Better Questions: Andy Stanley’s 5-Question Filter
One tool I’ve found immensely helpful comes from Andy Stanley’s book Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets. He offers five questions that move us beyond surface-level logic into soul-level clarity:
The Integrity Question – Am I being honest with myself… really? This question encourages you to examine your true motivations and be brutally honest with yourself about why you’re making a particular choice.
The Legacy Question – What story do I want to tell? This prompts you to consider how you’ll look back on this decision in the future and what story you want your choices to tell over time.
The Conscience Question – Is there a tension that deserves my attention? Here, you’re asked to pay attention to any inner unease, doubts, or red flags before moving forward.
The Maturity Question – What is the wise thing to do ?This emphasizes seeking wisdom and considering your past experiences, present circumstances, and future hopes when making decisions.
The Relationship Question – What does love require of me? This encourages you to consider the impact of your decisions on others and to act out of genuine love and concern.
These questions may not give you a black-and-white answer—but they will almost always give you a deeper one.
Listen Deeper: Dallas Willard on Hearing God
Another essential resource is Dallas Willard’s Hearing God, which explores the idea that a conversational relationship with God—characterized by both speaking and listening—is central to a mature Christian life.
Willard contends that God speaks through many means:
Scripture
Circumstances
Wise counsel
The inner promptings of the Holy Spirit
Learning to discern God’s “still, small voice” requires intentional practice, quiet attentiveness, and a commitment to walk closely with Him.
Willard challenges the belief that only the spiritual elite can hear from God. Instead, he insists that every committed believer can grow in this ability through regular prayer, reflection, and biblical study.
Ultimately, hearing God is not about constant guidance—it’s about deepening your relationship with Him so that your character and calling are shaped by that intimacy. From that place, your decisions take on an entirely different weight and direction.
The Role of Honest Friends
Finally, never underestimate the wisdom of candid, spiritually grounded friends. Proverbs 27:6 reminds us: “Wounds from a friend can be trusted.” These friends help us see what we can’t on our own.
To be truly helpful, those friends must:
Be free to speak truthfully
Understand the area of decision
Genuinely desire the best outcome for you
When my friends meet these three criteria, I make better decisions. Period.
If you’re navigating a significant decision—whether in ministry, leadership, or life—don’t settle for a surface-level cost/benefit grid. Invite the Spirit, examine your biases, lean on godly counsel, and ask the deeper questions. That's where clarity begins.