As a young child, I thought famous people were to be admired simply because they were famous, whether from sports, TV, movies, or politics. My reasoning was that they were excellent examples and that was why they were so popular. As I grew into my teens and beyond, I realized that famous people were far from exemplars. Many died as tragic figures.
I watched individuals rise to fame, and fortune and eventually frustration and anger. I was amazed at how so many who seemed to have everything that fame and money could afford, ended up being depressed and isolated rather than secure and loving. Most became addicted to alcohol, drugs, sex, or some other compulsion which seemed to be a way of coping with their emotions or demons. As they continued in this lifestyle, their relationships failed (marriages, friendships, etc.), and they had reasons that pointed to others. Often, they died at young ages and as we heard of the details of their personal lives, they were not individuals I wanted to emulate. Few lived the second half of their lives well and fewer died well.
Even for those who publicly seemed to “have it all together” during their lives, I found through biographies that this was often a public image manipulated by their wealth, PR agents, doctors, and staff who protected their image.
This bothered me, but as I have aged it now makes total sense. Everyone must have a center in their lives that anchors them. That center may change over a lifetime, but it will not suffice if it continually changes and/or isn’t substantial enough to serve as an anchor. The nautical captain knows every ship must have an anchor that is sufficient for the size of the ship. In other words, either your anchor is stable and sufficient to handle the pressures and turbulence around you, or you will drift and could become a shipwreck.
Most of those who achieved fame and fortune didn’t have an anchor sufficient for the turbulence they experienced. If you read their stories, many of them spent their lives in pursuit of such an anchor. I have found the Jesus of scripture has been and continues to be my center. It was 50 years ago that I made that conscious decision to give Jesus control over all my life. I submitted my life to him. I had no idea what that would lead to or where that would take me, but I was willing to allow him to lead in my life. Now it hasn’t been “all up and to the right”, as we will see next week.
In his book, Falling Upward, Richard Rohr shares how many of the habits and beliefs that are foundational for the first half of our lives are a necessary foundation for the second half of our lives, however, they are not sufficient. He writes:
“If we do not move beyond our early motivations of personal security, reproduction, and survival (the fear-based preoccupations of the “lizard brain”), we will never proceed beyond the lower stages of human or spiritual development.”…“You cannot walk the second journey with first journey tools. You need a whole new tool kit.”
From my perspective, many can survive the first half of life without much of a center. We do this through our intelligence, energy, and optimism. However, it is in the second half of our lives that the lack of a sufficient center becomes obvious. As I do assessment debriefs on hundreds of individuals, I find their uniqueness best finds strength and stability to continue to develop over a lifetime through a strong center. This center provides direction, courage, purpose, and motivation to continue to grow their distinctiveness through their remaining years.
Next week, we will think through this more deeply.
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