What Got You Here Won't Get You There: A New Year's Challenge for Leaders

As we step into a new year, I find myself reflecting on Proverbs and confronting an uncomfortable truth about my ongoing struggle with self-control.

But I also recognized something I'd never fully acknowledged. My wife, Mary Kay, has been instrumental in developing the prudence, discipline, and righteousness I desperately needed.

She didn't just offer advice, she provided the daily modeling, the consistent boundaries, and yes, even the uncomfortable confrontations necessary to identify behavior and transform my unhealthy habits. God's Spirit gave me the why and the power to change, but Mary Kay showed me the how. She demonstrated what a disciplined life actually looks like, day after day.

The Cost of Transformation

Was there a cost to this transformation? Absolutely. Her approach felt critical at times, even motherly and condescending. She challenged me in little and big things.

The challenges often hurt. Each boundary felt restrictive. Yet as I reflect, I know they weren't attacks; they were the external structure I needed to manage my unhealthy behavior. Genuine transformation rarely occurs through technique alone; it requires a relational context where someone models the life you're aspiring to live and provides healthy accountability for you to do what you haven’t previously done, probably because you didn’t want to!

As I reflected on how much my life has changed through Mary Kay’s encouragement, modeling, and accountability, I had a troubling thought: what got me here won't get me where I need to go.

The Principle of Progressive Development

The disciplines that bring me to this level of maturity are insufficient for the next level. This doesn't mean I abandon what worked; I must build upon these habits with refined disciplines and broader boundaries.  Often, people who experience success at one level are unable to grow beyond that, and many become bitter because they do not make the tough decision to let go of what they have succeeded in, to become who God desires for them at a deeper level.

This principle applies universally:

In athletics: The training for a 5K doesn't prepare you for a half-marathon. And half-marathon training doesn't prepare you for a full marathon.

In church growth: What it takes to start a church won't scale to lead it to 250 people. What works well in leading a church of 250 won't lead well at 800, then 1,500. Each stage requires different expressions of leadership.

In business: Safi Bahcall's Loonshots describes this beautifully through the roles of Inventors and Franchisers, which are both essential, but at various stages of the product lifecycle, they must adapt to different structures, values, and proficiencies.

In organizations: Robert Quinn's extensive research (Deep Change, Beyond Rational Management, Becoming a Master Manager) demonstrates that different leaders, skills, and processes are needed at different organizational stages. This understanding formed much of the foundation for my TeamFit Assessment framework.

The 5% Question

Quinn's research suggests that only 5% of leaders can transcend various leadership competencies or roles to lead effectively throughout an entire lifecycle. The other 95% cannot. I know we all think we are the 5%, but we are not. I thought I was at one time, but as I matured, I finally was secure enough to admit I wasn’t the five-talent leader that Jesus describes in Matthew 25.14-20. Eventually, I was able to admit I am a two-talent leader, and that was okay.

But here's my observation: Even that 5% don't possess these abilities naturally. They develop them through decades of intentional learning and training. Some leadership modalities come naturally to them; others must be painstakingly learned.

The New Year's Challenge

Just as Mary Kay's uncomfortable boundaries and daily modeling provided the structure I needed for transformation, we as leaders must seek out the people, practices, and accountability systems that will stretch us beyond our current capacity. The disciplines that transformed you into who you are today must themselves adapt to take you to who you need to become tomorrow.

This isn't about abandoning proven principles; it's about recognizing when the application of those principles needs to mature. It's about having the humility to admit we might not be the 5%, the wisdom to know when to hold tight to what works, and the courage to embrace the discomfort of the next level of growth.

As you step into this new year, ask yourself: Who is your Mary Kay? Who will provide the modeling, the boundaries, and yes, even the uncomfortable confrontations you need to become who God is calling you to be next? And are you willing to pay the cost of that transformation?